After The Gala: How it helped me
#1
Rainbow 
This post will cover something I don't usually talk about: My Depression. For the first time I do this openly, and through a nickname that would lead you back to my real identity in no time. So this is new. Also I really thing this post is in the wrong place but I don't know where to put it else so, please, forgive me.


Heck, The past few months I've been in hell and back due to depression. I would, even still now, wake up and feel the urge just to not get up, just lay there, just slowly die. It took the Galacon 2015 for this dark episode to at least become better. I got there, thinking the MLP-Fandom is dying, thoughts like: "My Little Pony has long become a product and nothing more." "The creators don't think about the fandom, it's just their living." or even "No one would care eventually if the show gets cancelled."

I don't have to say how wrong I was, it's amazing. I was sitting there, front row (I bought the tickets before I got into this major depression) and honestly, the weeks leading up to this I was like "Oh well, come one, you paid for it, push through it, I don't care what you do afterwards.". Will utter amazement I sat there, watching the guests of honor line up, Ingram, Black Gryphon, the Griegers, the Thiessens and St. Germain and so many more. And they all were so happy to be here. And everyone was so happy to have them. It was a feeling that just jumped to me and it captured me and it literally broke the view I had on the world at that point.

Now the night before that I met some long-time friends and we went into the Towers (it's a pub at that city, which becomes a brony hotspot during the Galacon). But that's not the point, besides getting maybe one drink for free, that's it. We went back and we reached the parking spot (A friend of mine would sleep in my car) and then we talked to someone there. A bunch of bronies crashing there too. First thing they did was offer me a bit of Sparkle Cola (I honestly never read Fallout Equestria) but that kindness was amazing. Something I completely forgot. Then, on the way to the hotel I talked to another bunch of bronies who gave me a sip from their beer bottles for a toast they made. That kindness completely broke me that night.

However, fast forward to the next morning. I'm lying in bed and I want to die. Not because the hangover, but because of the depression. I tell myself it's gonna be better and soon I give in to myself. That morning was easy. I went get my ticket and sat on a bank completely lonely then, until the venue opened. That's where everything became better once again.

Since I got my hands on a Bizaam Ticket, I got free autographs after the (AMAZING) opening ceremony, which led to small conversations to all the 'big' guests of honor, namingly Ingram, St. Germain, Thiessens, Crebers, and Gabe Brown. The conversations were mostly normal. "How are you?" and such. What however will stick to me is that Tabitha St. Germain mispelled my name and I was to self-concious to say anything. The Thiessens spelled my name correctly after I told them that story.

And what will really stick to me will be my awkward conversation with Black Gryph0n who signed first and then looked at me and was like "Oh, Hey, you sorta look like me." - "I do?" - "Yep" - "Uh, Thanks." Exhausten and Depression still had the best of me at that point in time.

Then the first panels would start and I would go to most of them. Ingrams and Monique Crebers panel for example, the first one to start, was already great. I remember them talking about how to pursue dreams and such. It's like what everyone tells you: "Do what you want to do.", "There will never be a perfect moment, do it now." (Or basically: JUST DO IT. DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS.) This would be a trend. Everyone would say something in that liking, but honestly, I still don't know HOW to do that.

Moving on to Gryph0ns Panel. I am very concerned about my appearance, and this great looking guy telling me that I somewhat look like him was a big boost. Of course he is funny as heck and I had an amazing time sitting there. In my head days had passed (Memory wise) since the opening ceremony. But truthfully it's only been 7 hours. I called it a day then, I was exhausted, I was aching and all my friends were either the same or wanted to drink before the party started. I didn't want to. I said no to save the memory for sure. (Also drunken people can get thrown out, just saying ;) )

Next Morning: Beautiful Morning! Except I couldn't appreciate it. Because I was down as you can be. Coming up is a literal discussion between me and myself that was going on in my head:
"Go back to sleep."
"But I don't want to miss it."
"You can miss one small panel, don't you?"
"But it's Tabithas and Michelles panel, so Gabe can't be far."
"And what does that mean? It's not like it won't be recorded."
"But I paid for a good seat."
"You are so tired, so in pain right now. Are you sure you don't want to rest?"
((Literally in tears right now recalling those thoughts))
"Yes I do but this is more important than my general well being right now."
"But you should rest until you feel better."
"I'll feel better when I sit in the panel and have a great time. Stop it."

And well, I got up, and I actually made it to the panel (Seeing Daniel Ingram almost not being allowed to eat breakfast before that) and it was so worth it. Not sure anyone is allowed to talk about it though. The rest of the day was slightly less significant (IN COMPARISON, still better than my everyday life) until the Charity auction.

Boy, oh, boy, can Telofy talk. I had no money left, nothing, and still, the way he talked, it was just heart-shattering. I felt good being there (and prior giving them a good 20 bucks for merch, the bronies for good.) And I was happy, almost crying. I felt like my lives purpose is just there, around the corner. Felt like everything is going to be alright. And that's the moment I noticed something:

Being a Brony USED to be about the show. The Galacon shows that it's now so much more. Being a Brony means you have a totally different mindset. Being a brony means that you actually care about more than just yourself. At least that's the way it feels to me. That's why I feel the need to be a Brony, and not just a fan of some cartoon.

The Gala ended. I drove home. The sun was setting. Such a beautiful sight. I got (am going to get) a speed ticket. Sorry. But, I feel like my life is now heading up. And it's thanks to every single person I met, I talked to, and I am actually crying saying that. I am far from being 'good' or 'fine' or something. But I am going to be.

Thanks to everyone.
Thanks to you.
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#2
I just read your complete post - and I'd nver imagined GalaCon could trigger such strong emotions, such feelings, and, as I understand you, make indeed a change for the better in some person's actual life Applejackshocked

It's really nice to read especially the last lines - and I think all volunteers and the orga team will be glad to read them, too.

You will always be welcome back at GalaCon! Salute

That reminds me... one of my PlushieCon teammates who was at GalaCon for the first time last year told me: he was excited to be there again weeks before the event, had an uneventful drive to Ludwigsburg and then, just as he drove through the streets of Ludwigsburg and past the Forum on Friday, the emotions came: he was at the very edge of crying; he said it was a feeling much like coming home from a long journey; he was so happy to meet all those people again... mind you, that was only on Friday in the afternoon or evening.

So I guess GalaCon (and other brony events) really can make an emotional change for the better for some people at all - and you definetly are not alone! Salute
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#3
(03.08.2015, 15:03)Railway Dash Wrote: So I guess GalaCon (and other brony events) really can make an emotional change for the better for some people at all - and you definetly are not alone! Salute

It was my second Galacon, but the last year honestly just been rough. Everything switched to shades of gray and I lived life for the premise of "Someday, Somehow".

The utter positive energy of the people, the staff, the guests just jumped onto me. It's something I didn't feel last year, as I was generally happy around that time last year, but to go through this 180 degree turn this year, it's just so much.

I progressed to be a closet brony over the course of the year "Meh, I watch other shows too." But there is not one single show that could replace this feeling. This is special. And I am, once again, really proud.

(also 13k euros for charity. Yay.)
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#4
GalaCon is for all. GalaCon is for you. There is a piece of GalaCon that is yours and yours alone.

Being a Brony can mean a lot. You pick what you like best, then irgnore the rest.
Running a Con is work and tiresome. Some were awake for 19 hours and worked 16 of these ours or even more on saturday.
Knowing it was all worth for you, makes it all worth for us.

Come back.

GalaCon is for you.
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#5
Posts like yours are reasons, why we work for 25 or more hours during this con.
To give you the best time in your life.
It is also a great boost for us to work even harder next year.
Thank you very much
Greetings
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#6
That post made my eyes wet.
And I'm really happy to hear that I and all the others spent there time, energy and everything else to make a positive effect on someone. Now use that feeling and keep going! I wish you luck.
Happy Call me on Skype "Pony_HD" Twilight smile
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#7
Oh wow that really hit me. Mostly positively but...it really touched me, though.
I somehow feel....thankfull of beeing a part of something that means so much to you and probably also to others. Not because I also was part of the volunteer team but I was part of the convention and I do believe everyone who reads this will feel the same.

I never imagined a convention could mean so much to a single person. You don't think about that when you are there. But reading it now and realizing what you just wrote there...I can't really discribe what I feel right now. Beeing a nurse I have seen so many people fighting with depression. I do know what it means to these people. And it just makes me so happy myself, that this convention helped you so much to get on a good path fighting your depression, even find the strengh to write about it like that. Thank you for sharing your emotions. Thank you so much.
And makes everything so much more important then it already was. PLUS - Ari already wrote it - it is such a boost for everyone of us Volunteers, Staff and others who worked at GalaCon to give you and everyone else this experience again next year.
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#8
Okay, this is a truly heartfelt thing. I would have never expected that a simple convention could shift entire worldviews and even help someone with depression. This was absolutely beautiful. Happy
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#9
If someone ever wanted to know why I do this. Why I'm spending my free time over 10 months to prepare such a convention, ending up with one or two months almost completely split into regular work and con preparations, working a full weekend all the time, without any compensation, completely voluntary:


Thats why.


Getting reports back in of people that get fueled with so much positive energy by the convention that they cannot get this smile out of their face for at least a month, totally worth it!
404compliant      •      Germany      •      GalaCon Volunteer Relations      •      Pony Events Federation HRM
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#10
My eyes kept glued to your post and I read it two times because it's so positively and it touches me.

I'd never thought that GalaCon can have such a huge influence of someone.
I must say, your post strengthens me to keep up my volunteer-work to help make the con everytime to a magical place where everybody's welcome and where you can have fun.

I hope that your depression fades away and everything's shine in a bright light.
Navak              -             Germany             -             GalaCon Volunteer

Oh, I may be on the side of the angels... but don't think for one second that I am one of them.
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#11
Galacon has been directly responsible for some of the most amazing friendships and moments in my life, and this one was no different. You're not alone in that, and it makes me tear up hearing your story, and I'm glad it could help. If you make it to next Galacon, look me up. I have a brohoof and/or hug waiting for you!
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#12
By know most volunteers know and read this thread. And they're all going "YEAH!" (<- click!)
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#13
(04.08.2015, 12:21)Violet Blaze Wrote: If you make it to next Galacon, look me up. I have a brohoof and/or hug waiting for you!

I will definately try to take you up on that offer!
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#14
Keep your eyes open for me, too!

I'll try to be volunteer again next year so I probably won't be hard to find Happy

I do believe we won't be the only ones having a hug and/or brohoof for you now RD wink

I'd really like to see you attending GalaCon 2016.
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#15
(03.08.2015, 14:22)FoxTheCat Wrote: Thanks to everyone.
Thanks to you.

No.
You know what?
Thank YOU!
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#16
Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. I know this must have been hard to write down and tell others about, but be assured that this is what keeps us all going. If we can have such an impact on someone’s life we will give it all we can to do so. I wish you all the best for the time ahead and hope we can welcome you back again.
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